Spike the Kool-Aid/Financial Flippers/Why Don't We Talk About Money?

Why Don't We Talk About Money?

Wednesday, August 30, 2023

Why Don't We Talk About Money?

It’s no secret that we generally keep conversations about money … well … secret. But with the majority of the country living “paycheck to paycheck,” shouldn’t money be more of a priority to discuss?

This millennial grew up in a home that didn’t talk about money. I only knew what the financial situation was by listening to arguments between my folks, the automated speakerphone giving an account balance update, or by seeing how low the gas gauges were in the cars (an emotional money trigger for me).

Now that I’m 38, I’m well aware that my parents chose to sacrifice a lot for me and my three siblings. As kids, we always had everything we needed, and more. My parents even supported me going to college to study musical theater - a degree which is debatable no matter how much you spend on it.

But even while knowing money wasn’t flowing through our home in the way it seemed it was for others, it was never the reason to go after something. We were encouraged to pursue whatever we wanted - as long as we followed our hearts.

And THAT is what my parents protected.

This brings me to assume that because money was never a motivator within our family growing up, that it simply wasn’t “important enough” to discuss. Sure, I had a novelty checkbook to learn how to write checks, was told to save and not overspend, and mowed lawns in the summer to learn how to work and earn money.

But there’s a difference between telling someone to diet and exercise if they want to lose weight and putting food on a scale to demonstrate portions or actually walking them into a gym to demonstrate form and technique.

Could it be that personal finance, not just money, wasn’t understood enough to know how to discuss it because it was never demonstrated?

Being a new parent, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for my child. And I believe with all my heart that my parents are the same. But my parents are part of a generation that collectively did not discuss money, because their parents’ generation collectively did not discuss money.

And that brings us to where we are now.

In our society today, 62% of Americans say they don’t regularly talk about money. However, our society is looking up information about money more than ever before.

If you were to Google “How to pay off debt,” you would get 731 million results.

It’s not because the educational material isn’t out there that we find ourselves still hiding when it comes to discussing our money and are therefore not making financial progress.

So then, where is the disconnect?

This is where I believe our whole idea of personal finance is wrong, because the subject of money is not just about numbers.

To put it simply, money is an emotionally-charged tool that is woven into almost every aspect of our lives.

I had a conversation with someone who wanted to pay for their child to go to college, but they couldn’t afford it. So what did this mean to them?

  • It meant this person didn't make enough money.
  • ​It meant this person didn't do enough earlier in life to make sending their child to college an option.
  • ​It meant this person wold shatter their child's dreams because they don't have enough money.
  • ​...

Do you see the pattern?

Enough already.

We have learned to tie our WORTH to our WEALTH by thinking our WEALTH is only determined by our WORTH.

We assume that because we do not have enough to give those we love (including ourselves) what it is that we want, we are not enough.

And this promotes a narrative which feeds everyone else’s pockets - those who all have a plan for your money, who tell you they can make you the version of “enough” you want to be; that is, until that isn’t enough and you go looking for the next solution.

So how do we break this cycle of not feeling worthy enough to discuss our money?

As a performer, my job is to bring the text of a script or song to life - to perform, or demonstrate, the material in a way that it becomes understandable to the audience.

And you know what?

Some people won’t love the script.

Some people won’t love the songs.

Some people won’t love the story, the message, or any number of aspects of the performance.

But each audience member now has new ideas, thoughts, and feelings because of what they just experienced; and regardless of how the audience member may have interpreted what they saw, they had to first make the choice to go and experience it.

In the same way, we need to be willing to go beyond just text if we want to better understand our money.

It's time to rewrite the narrative. Just as I strive to bring a script to life on stage, you have the power to bring your financial journey to life. It's not about measuring worth in dollars (the script), but in the lives we lead, the dreams we chase, and the impact we make (the performance).

It’s time to flip the script and become the hero of your financial story.

Every step you take to engage with your finances, every conversation you initiate about money, is a bold act of reclaiming your story. No longer confined by the standard of silence, you become the cast, crew, and star of your financial performance.

And keep in mind: it's okay to stumble or hit a sour note on this journey. (If not, I’m screwed.)

Mistakes are our greatest teachers, helping us fine-tune our financial strategies just like an artist refining their craft. And while some may not resonate with every financial conversation, each experience adds depth and perspective to the masterpiece that is your life.

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.
~ Robert Allen

So, let's make a promise to each other to embark on this journey together, bravely confronting our fears and doubts, nurturing our financial understanding, and redefining our relationship with money.

Because you are more than numbers on a balance sheet. You are an incredible concoction of dreams, aspirations, and limitless potential. And if you are brave enough to go against societal norms, I feel confident in saying you will have a 100% chance of improving your financial situation.

So go ahead and step into the spotlight, my friend, and flip the script of your financial story. There’s a standing ovation waiting for you.

I’m sure of it.

Stay Curious,


Kyle Fowler

Founder of Financial Flippers

The personal finance world is packed with TONS of information. And while it's not all bad, it's not all good. I work hard to make sure I am sharing helpful content that keeps you on track while still providing different perspectives. If you ever have questions, want to share ideas for other topics, or want to know more, shoot me an email: kyle@financialflippers.com

FinFlip Logo White.png

© 2024 Financial Flippers